friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
