is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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