I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
