youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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