First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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