I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
