If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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