watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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