yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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