Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
