It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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