That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
