I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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