My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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