Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
