evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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