Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize