discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
