Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
