He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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