dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
