I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
