i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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