Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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