oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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