You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You pole danced in your parka.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
