so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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