Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
