Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's not cheating when I paid for it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
