I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there was a trapeze. enough said
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
