i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
