My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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