Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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