Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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