fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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