You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
