that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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