Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
