He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
