The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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