fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
