A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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