lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
