Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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