I'm gonna have a badass scar
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
