we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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