I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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