I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
