Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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