I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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