i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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