Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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