were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
