3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
