jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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