what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
