And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is not my ceiling
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
