yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
