I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
