By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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