then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize