I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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